In a Room Full of Flats, Wear Stilettos: What Presence Really Looks Like
What you wear has more to do with how you feel than how you look
What presence really looks like
We used to assume the sharpest suit had the most power. Now we’re in the “billionaire in a tee” era. Mark Cuban can show up in jeans and a T-shirt and still command the room. As fellow Shark Robert Herjavec likes to say: beware the person in the T-shirt. Translation: power isn’t the outfit; it’s the presence behind it.
And then there’s Marilyn Monroe. Amy Greene once shared how Marilyn Monroe could “turn on” Marilyn like a light switch—one subtle shift and the energy around her changed. Presence isn’t an accident; it’s a choice.
So what do they have in common? Presence. Confidence. Charisma. And a deep understanding that how you dress affects you more than anyone else.
Clothes don’t define your confidence - you do
Think about your best days, the ones where you’re grounded, game-ready, fully you.
What are you wearing?
That’s not vanity; it’s data. Clothes are cues. They’re memory prompts our bodies understand: time to lead… lean in and listen… now get to work. For me, it’s a dress and stilettos in the boardroom; sneakers, leggings, and a hoodie when I’m with my kids. Same person, slightly different presence—either way, own it.
Confidence doesn’t come from being well-dressed.
It comes from dressing with confidence.
Presence Isn’t a Costume, It’s a System
Wardrobe is just one lever. Here’s a simple system you can steal.
1) Define the mission
What outcome do you want? Win the room? Build trust? Spark action?
What role are you playing today? Strategist, closer, facilitator, builder?
2) Set your cues
Uniform pieces that anchor you (heels, a jacket, a tee—whatever you): they become shorthand to your brain: go mode.
One signature (watch, ring, lip, notebook) that makes you easy to remember without being loud.
3) Align the signal
Context check: Company culture, client expectations, venue. You can be yourself and be situationally aware.
Fit & function: If you’re fidgeting, you’re leaking energy. Wear what lets you move with ease.
4) Rehearse your presence
Two minutes of posture + breath resets your nervous system.
Walk your opener out loud. Even unscripted folks benefit from a strong first line.
The “Stiletto” Doesn’t Have to Be Stilettos
Stilettos aren’t for everyone, my stiletto could be your combat boot. Choose the thing that unlocks your best performance, not the thing that blends in.
For some, that’s literally heels.
For others, it’s their signature sneakers.
It could be a clean white tee under a blazer, a bold lip, or a jacket that you feel great in.
You don’t need permission to feel powerful, just lean into what makes you feel powerful.
For Founders & Sellers: Presence Drives Pipeline
This rule applies to presentations, job interviews, hosting events and client meetings, and everything in between.
Consistency beats costume. Show up as the same you online and in-person.
Dress for them without losing you. Speak their language while staying in your voice.
Make it easy to say yes. Presence gets attention; clarity closes. (Know your one-line CTA.)
When the Room Is All Flats
If the room feels uniform, ask: What signal would serve the mission? Sometimes it’s standout attire; sometimes it’s standout clarity. Either way, don’t default to camouflage. Choose with intent.
My Takeaway (and Yours)
For me: I’m at my best in a dress and stilettos in the boardroom; sneakers, leggings, and a hoodie when I’m chasing kids. Same person, slightly different presence—both are true, both are me.
Your version might look different. Perfect. Figure out what unlocks your best work—and wear that.
Get Camera-Ready (In Person or Online)
Whether you’re on stage, on Zoom, or anywhere in between, your presence affects how you show up—and how your message lands.
Grab my free Camera-Ready Webinar Checklist for structure, timing, and on-camera tips that boost attendance and conversions.
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